Joy.

I've been looking for it since that day, father.

It's not as easy as you made it sound.

What I decided to do was study the patterns of others. 

The things that make them smile, laugh, cry, ball up their fists.

When you say certain things to them, they seem to light up.

Other things make them recoil, or resort to violence.

Some people revel in the joy of others -

I've gotten very good at faking it, that's how I figured it out.

Whenever I meet someone, I smile, and I say,

'Nice to meet you.'

I seem to be really good at making friends that way.

To be honest, I don't see the appeal.

None of it works the same way for me.

Why am I like this?

So far, there's only been one thing that made my heart jump.

Everything moved slower.

My pulse was pounding, and I couldn't help but feel... alive.

Being coated with the blood of myself and another.

Is something wrong with me?