[awwlie]

"You look sad Ayse." a voice in a room called out, a laugh was the reply she could afford.

How could I be sad, when I do not have emotions? I had them snuffed them out. I made myself anew so I could be what I wanted.

"You need help Ayse." the voice once more applied, was it a hand that held her way?

How could I be helped, when even the whole world was against my success.

Pain in my chest,
it stings, did my heart skip a beat?

Had I felt love,

and lost it just as fast?

I wasn't supposed to win in life, was I, Mydaea?

I was supposed to face challenges, perhaps even die a Martyr.

"This pain. This feeling of emptiness." "This pain. This feeling of emptiness." a cold voice noted while embracing them.

I had already forgot how I missed comfort.

Do I deserve this?

All I have done is face foe after foe,

Bled myself for Her sake,

became more like another to serve Her,

did I exchange myself entirely just to chase a endless goal?

No, no.
I became what I saw in my own eyes,
so I could chase a goal of my own,

for I bled for Her, 

for I died for Her,

. . .

I did everything for Her.

"because I thought that you wanted to die" it disseminated like a curse within her heart.

. . .

Did I?

Did I wish to die?
Why did I fight so hard if so..

It took time, but I soon grew to know what I wanted.
It weren't to live like rest of humanity.
My future is brighter than that,

after all, 
I've made promises to become the best version of myself for Her,
I hold that promise in my chest, in my cold heart.

...

It is only a matter of time,

before I forget what it means to feel.

Until I paint myself with ink,

and let its cold embrace remake me.