[GSM]

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Look at thy sorry state, pitiable thing.

We share a story, a mind, a memory?

You dare name yourself the Lord of Knowledge?

You would usurp even the name of the corpse you bear?

i am a nameless, titleless thing, and you know this.

i was never you, yet i always was.

what would you like for me to say?

that you should return?

that this pain is for your sake?

What other answer is there?

You have lost your love, your joy, your will to live.

Yet still you work for no benefit of your own.

What is left for you here?

a world i love, and people i can help.

children, my own or those of youth, wait for me.
you know me not, so do not speak for me.

Be honest, mine shade, the shell of a soul you are.

You are not here for your own sake.

You made a vow, didn’t you?

that i did.

but before such a stage can be set, i made one for myself.

i serve the light of man in penitence for your— our— many sins.

We both know that is not what we speak of.

...

Why did you bind yourself to service to these things?

Surely something closer to the ideal Angel would know the answers to all, hm?

… i have never forgotten S████’s words.
i have many names to let live through me, and my tales.
even if i will inevitably let details slip, i cannot forget any amount of them.
or, us, what we are— what i am.
And do they see, do they realize, now?
You were never a true Archon, now that there is a second.
You gave them a perspective for nothing in return.
How much longer will you deceive them with that title?
is it deception to say there is no longer a title for what i am?
You would dare allow an uncertainty into your court?
no.
i detest the feeling of not knowing, actually, and you know this.
and as of late, too many uncertainties have made themselves known.
it is sickening in a way i cannot put to words.
And why do you let it linger?
because it is what makes humans so perfect.
pain and sorrows, grief and suffering.
not knowing is so fundamentally mortal,
and i’ve come to enjoy the feeling of learning over time.
Despicable, thinking yourself in any way congruent with humanity.
Your ideas of what demons were meant to be is nothing compared to what they are now.
Discarding such a lineage and birthright is to invoke Hel’s ire upon you.
then let it burn upon my form.
scatter the ashes upon my eyes and blacken my fingertips with hatred.
with another of us nearing complete creation, i am still yet host to more of his will.
You tried to love as humans do, and you have been forsaken by mortality.
... i always did have a way with words.
There is nothing to bring back, even if you used your Divinity for it.
Your pain grows day by day, and you still have not unleashed such feelings.
Why not allow destruction to take root?
these trials did wound my heart so.
there is a part of me that wishes to forsake love until she returns, somehow.
but still, i wish to love humans as one with them.
You will outlive them on a scale incomprehensible to many.
You have survived for this long, but your life has only just begun.
Why guide them if they are to be lost at any point?
Why try at all, if you are to watch as Xarxes’s point is proven with each day?
the world needs hope when despair resurges.
the world needs love when hatred blooms.
the world needs light when darkness burns.
the world needs the forgiveness of the soul when the damned forsake theirs.
if nobody will survive my lifetime to spread such feelings, then it will be i who remembers their names.
even those from inhuman beginnings can be human.
You are nothing, now.
Merely a hollow husk, a puppet by the strings of the narrative.
You gave a human body to one who scorned you.
You’ve lost your way.
no, i never did.
even if there are days where i gaze at the mirror you were and wonder if you are correct,
i have walked my path with the sole purpose of knowing more.
And the next step?
the next pages will be written with sacrifice.