[fishfry]

A letter to a lost friend, wine and tear-stained, abandoned to the waves.

Anessa,


Anessa. Anessa. Anessa. I wish that I'd written this while you were still here. I wish that I'd written more at all. I'd always taken it for granted. That you'd be here. That you'd always be here.

Did you know how much I cared about you? How important you were to me? I didn't do a good job of showing it, did I? And now it's too late to really matter. My oldest friend. I'll write out this last letter to you, and the sea will take it. Maybe, if I'm lucky, it will wash up somewhere in Uraheim, and somehow, someway, you'll find it.

You were my oldest friend. I don't think you realized how important to me those visits that you made to the Traverse were. How much they meant to me. So, so many people passed through my island home, and so few of them actually came back. So few of them stayed. When my world was shrinking down to a few people and a few walls, you were always a breath of change.

Like a landmark in an otherwise shifting sea. A reminder that though things may be changing, they also, in the most important ways, stayed the same.

Back then it was all simpler wasn't it? I often look back on being a child with a wistful jealousy. I wanted nothing than to be seen as an adult. Setbacks were worldshattering. I'm sure you felt the same. I remember every time you showed up, injured from losing a battle. Frustrated at how the hunt was going. Perhaps even lonely, because back when we first met, I remember you so casually saying that you simply lived in the woods. That you had no home, anymore.

My heart went out to you then. It still does ache, for that young girl who had lived through so much. Back when we were younger, I looked up to you so much. How strong you were, how confident, how--unstoppable.

Now I look back and I wish I had done more to soothe the pain that I know lived underneath of the easy smiles.

And even despite that. Look at what you accomplished.

Your pack, your clan, you brought it back from the edge of destruction. You resurrected a people. And they'll continue on the legacy that you started. Are you proud of them, Nessa? Are you proud of what you've built?

Were you as happy as I was when I found out that my home was going to be your home? It was, and remains, one of the better days. A memory to hold against the darkness and uncertainty of the future.

I miss you. I miss you more than you could imagine, probably, given how rarely we really crossed paths. There was always tomorrow. Always another day. 'We'll talk soon'.

We never had that last sit down. It was a promise that I held in my heart, but it will have to wait until I can find you again.

So I'll put my last thoughts into this letter for you.

I hope that my home made you feel welcome, even for a little while. I hope that the future that you were building will come to pass. I promise to you, I'll do everything that I can to make sure that it stays. That your clan settles in, puts down roots and grows.

I'll try to be there for your family. For your children. It breaks my heart to know that you never got to introduce me. That I'll never get to introduce you to mine.

When my time comes, and I've finished waiting with Yama by the coral gates, maybe I'll be able to find you again. Say everything that I've written here.

My oldest friend.

I hope you find your rest. You deserve it.

I miss you. I don't think I'll stop missing you. But I'll try to make sure that I carry on your memory, and the future that you never got to have.

Yours,