[DirectorBright]

Aricles was right about something.
All of these people are fucking insane.

Now this is a different tone from you.
You're normally all weepy and sentimental.
Now you're angry.
Is this about the bird?

Partially.
The birdbrain started it.
But it's more just a-

That you are exhausted and worn out and tired and grieving,
And that you just got hit in the face with another issue?
Another problem for you to have to involve yourself in,
Bound by the chains of others.
Another abhorrence, and this one makes you angry, because-

Because it was asinine, yes.
There is no reason this should have happened.
None.
Aricles was right, people are insane.
Why on Kraus's green earth, do they keep doing this?
The bird hurts because it's personal, but this isn't just about the bird.
I feel like I can't go five seconds without someone holding the Idiot Ball and fucking themselves up in some horrific manner for no reason.
And it would be one thing if they only hurt themselves,
But they pretty much never do.
They always have someone that loves them, and it always bites that person too.
Its like none of them ever consider for a moment:
Hey, maybe, I shouldn't do incredibly reckless shit for no reason, because I have a family that would be sad if I got myself fucked up.

Language.
I see we've moved to Anger.

I don't want to have to deal with this.
This is bullshit.
I'm going to smack the hel out of that birdbrain when this is over....

I thought this wasn't about her?

She's the straw that broke the camel's back, because this time it was personal.
How hard is it?
You see a mystery potion, in the realm of the dead, in a dragon-aligned area.
A place known to kill you, a being known to generally be an asshole.
Don't fucking drink it.
You see a potentially cursed item, don't immediately touch it with your bare hands.
This should be common sense.

I remember during the Siege of Gloomlight, a demon drops this weapon covered in living, demonic flesh.
And what happens? Gloomer grabs it, immediately. It fuses to his hands. They have to cut it off of him.
He tells everyone this and drops it on the ground, after he had wrapped it in a sheet.
Half a crowd swarmed it immediately.
Then after Loramelian has to yell at them to not touch it, they argue for half an hour about how to move it.
Half the people there have telekinesis, and Talugth was standing right there.

Or how about Agne making a demon heart and half of them wanting to eat it at once?

Or hel, even Lora's not immune to this.
A set of demon horns remains after a demon disintegrates, and flies at Bonbon on it's own.
Talguth picks it up, and his puppet locks back into an endless scream while he says its 'interesting' or something.
What does Lora do?
Lora. Who has a variety of magics to move things without touching them directly.
Who just watched this thing beeline a living being at once.
Who knows full well what a kaorblade is and has a long history dealing with cursed mind control nonsense.
What do they do.
Guess.
Guess what happened immediately.

They touch-

They touched it and it stuck to their head, yes.
If it wasn't for a particular ring, we'd have had to probably kill them.
I'm just... I'm so tired of this.

It goes beyond just them.
People studying things they shouldn't, for no reason.
Doing things they know have a very good chance of getting them killed, without any conceivable gain.
Watching a dozen examples of something bringing nothing but suffering into their life,
Then doing it anyway, refusing to abandon it, and crying when it does the same to them.
Taking idiotic risks with uncertain rewards, throwing any semblance of caution to the wind.
And why? Why?
Why? There wasn't any reason for any of this to happen.

It's like an entire city never moved past the toddler stage of 'put things in my mouth to see what they are.'

---

I'm tired. I'm very tired.
And I'm angry.

I'm angry people do this and I have to clean up after it.
I'm angry that it comes back and crashes itself into my own family again and again.
I'm angry that so many others are so indifferent about it.
I'm angry that people see problems and don't try to fix them.
Of being told fixing it is impossible, when it's so easily in reach it's laughable.
When there are a dozen examples of it being done.
When they'd do it for themselves if they wanted to.
I'm angry that they roll over and just give up on things that they could solve so easily if they tried.
And then tell you that you're wrong in some way for trying.
That we need to accept suffering that could have been avoided if someone used their brain for two seconds.
That we could get rid of in a matter of days if we actually bothered to.


Then they come to me and say, 'you can't demand everyone else solve problems for you'
Doesn't stop others from coming to me and asking the same.
It has never stopped me from helping them.
If I could lift every burden on my own shoulders and fix them all, I would.
But I am one man, with one set of skills, who can only be in one place at a time.
I can't solve everything.
Even if I want to.
That doesn't mean the problem doesn't still exist.

I wish I could leave some of these issues in the hands of others, but it seems like nobody gives a shit half the time.
That nobody moves with any urgency on things that cannot wait.
Then say 'oh no its too late' afterwards.
Except our enemies, of course.
They move.
And then I lose people, and get told 'that's just the way it is' like that's supposed to make it okay.

Don't bullshit me with that.
Not when you could fix it.
Don't enable cruelty and agony because you're too fucking lazy or apathetic to try, or have some brainless 'acceptance' of the unacceptable.

I have so much that I need to get done.
I have so many works unfinished, half finished, that need to be made.
And so little time to do it in.
Now I have to try to do this, when even the thought of it claws at me.
But I don't know that I have anyone else I can trust to make sure it happens.
I was told once that I need to have faith in my people.
Well I did.
And in less than a year, my people showed that it was the wrong decision, and screwed me.
Now here we are again. blindsided.

---

I feel like I'm drowning.
Like I can't breathe.
Can't rest.
It comes in every waking moment of peace, the paranoia. 
The need to prepare for the next threat.
The bracing for the next catastrophe.
It undermines everything with fear.
Then the fears come true, and there's nothing I can do.

I need to go to bed knowing things are going to be okay.
I need to wake up from my dreamless sleep  by her side, and not feel dread when I remember the world.
I need to be able to spend time with my loved ones and not feel like I'm doing wrong, wasting time that could've been spent working to keep them safe.
I need to relax.
I need to rest.
I...
... I need a vacation.

But I can't have any of that.
It would be nice if my world would stop catching fire, if I could trust someone else to put it out, so I could.