[Nitsah]

I'm starting to forget things.

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Not things like where I placed my keys, or the names of my great grandchildren, or to brush my teeth.
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Things like how Yvelle's rare smile looked. The runes we drew on Lila-- what colour were they, again? How did I feel when Estelle first read my fortune? I don't remember the colour of Daralis' eyes, or how Melidoyla liked her tea... Or if she did at all, for that matter. Lirael certainly did, but what kind was her favorite? What was the colour of Natalie's first little Dragon?
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My mind remains as sharp as ever, yet the distant past fades into colourless shapes and events, each only growing blurrier as it gets further and further. I can still make it out, but the fine details are lost. Maybe that's just the nature of being a living thing: specifics from a hundred years ago no longer help the wolf survive, so its attention shifts to the future. Nature is good at little optimisations like that.
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I can't help but mourn what has been, and the fading of those details. I wonder if this is what it's like for you too, Mother Nemea? I feel as if I understand you now, more than ever. It's been so long since you chose me, and the things and people I grieved the most are the ones that remain the clearest: those I meditated on with your prayers and rituals. Only now do I *truly* understand their importance.
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I wonder how much closer I could grow to you if I only had more time. There's one, maybe two decades left before I'll be by your side and get to ask those old questions to your face, though I can't help but wonder...
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What if I had more time?

...What if I could find out?