[akemimera]

It has been a great many years since I have written in here. And I have been brutally naive looking back at my past entries.

These lands are not just sick, no, that is an insult to sick lands. It would be far more accurate to say everything here is built on bodies and blood, both innocent and vile, freely given or taken with force. It matters not what flag flies, ALL are equally responsible for such. I have never truly felt disappointed in fellow sentient beings, but seeing these recent events, that statement has been made false. Even I am no longer exempt from such. Perhaps that is why I am so painfully aware of the state of affairs of late, because I have come to accept that there are no truly good people. Its all just varying shades of grey until it turns black.

Cynical, perhaps, but I like anyone who may read this to prove me wrong, to show me any proof that the above statement is false. I doubt they will succeed as no nation is without its bodies or blood. Some just have bigger unmarked graveyards then others. And they know who they are.

Perhaps I am worse then them, thinking about it. Options that others consider insane or overinflated responses, I consider solutions to problems. Yet I do not act on them, nor speak of it unless directly asked. I have read somewhere that the best option to surviving is having a plan to kill everyone you meet. I think that idea is rather small, as I have plans to end kingdoms I have visited, and I wouldn't even have to be there to do it, simply making use of the various things within each to accomplish such. However, even I know that such plans cannot come to fruition just because I have them. I am if anything honest, and straight forward. But I am also bound by contract, and only the worst kind of maid ever cause problems for their employer in the political landscape. Minor mistakes like broken dishes are to be expected, starting a war because of ones personal dislikes, you are not a maid, you are just a problem.

And this land has made it very clear, Problems tend to end up permanently ended.

So instead, I pour all these emotions into producing specialized wine, which is a rather amusing name, giving how strong they come out every time, giving rum and other hard liquors a run for its money. Perhaps that is why they come out so strong, and why I haven't actually snapped at someone.

Maybe, even Aethelwine understands, even if she might not approve. All I know is I will likely be dead before anything truly changes here. And that is probably what upsets me the most.