[Charon]

Spring 1739 AC - Gabriel B.

Dear Journal,

I did it! For a moment I was afraid. . . really afraid that I wasn't good enough. I think living with this illness has opened doors that maybe would have been closed otherwise. . .what I mean by that is that maybe I would be a different person without it.

It's actually annoying though, I can't play for long like the other kids. . .  and even though I have the aptitude for a magi I still spend so much of my day bedridden. I want to scream and cry alot, but I promised Mom and Dad I wouldn't. Some days the pain is not so bad, other days it feels like there is a huge fire and my body is standing right in the middle of it. It makes it hard to sleep at night. . .but I don't want this journal to be about me complaining. Dad used to say that complaining wouldn't get you anywhere. So I haven't told many people about it. . . that I'm sick that is. I don't want them to think I'm frail, weak, and a complainer. 

I made a friend, or a few friends. One of them is Thorn and she has really sharp teeth. She is rather odd, and doesn't speak the way normal people do! It's actually through fire, weird blue flames. . .it was kind of scary at first but you can't judge a book by its cover. Thorn is also fast. . . alot faster than I am. She had a hard time finding me though, I think maybe I'm better at hiding than she is! I hope I get to play with her again before everything changes. An old man told me that war was coming to Osrona. I don't really understand what war 'feels' like, but I know from a few books that alot of people will die. Another boy Nicholas told me to run if I have the chance.  Everything changes when you talk about war or even mention it. The adults start to whisper, and look like they have a fever. Some look sad, some look angry, some people even look I don't know. . .it's hard to say; like they don't care or they care very little? Me? I'm scared. . . actually. Even if war comes it's not like I can run. . . I don't have the stamina like the other kids so maybe I can hide! Since Thorn had a hard time finding me I think if I just hide then even if the worse happens I can manage. 

Is that silly? Part of me wants to hide and the other part of me wants to fight with everyone else. I don't have much magic power to do anything so I don't know how I would help. Maybe war won't come. . .maybe everyone will talk everything out and when everything is finished people will relax.