[Lung]

I've already felt a lot of pain in my life, really, and of all kinds, but the only one I couldn't handle was the mental one ... it's strange that I can handle a giant weight, tearing my fibers, and not feeling so much but a bad memory is able to end my day... the brain is the only muscle hard to heal. 

I have a good memory about much stuff, but some of them? i keep away for a reason, they keep being a bad influence to me and my trainning, i cant do nothing right so i had to seal them. but now and then i find myself flogged by them. when I'm at the lowest point, its hard to not think about it.
-Phalanx

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Memory fragment
Nº: ???
Year:1821
Location: Cadarça, Recruit trainning camp number 4
Moment that make awoke: Silverwall  Attack, Meia death/crucifixion
Level of impact: Worrisome.

Current status: Stable.

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What do you do? when you dont fit on the world, in any place. you keep looking for a place to fit? you give up and try to live anyway? perhaps you even find a place where you fit. But phalanx? he dont have that luck, and he choosed live anyway even that leading a harsh life.

After 7 teachers, experienced magis that protect cadarça as Council members, phalanx find himself in his last chance to learn a magic that he can use with his melee style, another attempt in vain of course, but this one would create something bad, that he would carry for a long time.

 On the training camp, phalanx finds himself on the ground covered in light bruises, while his mentor, lain, is standing facing him, still deciding whether he would be a lost cause or not, even if he doesn't like it he would use one last method to see if phalanx could use shadow magic after all, given all the pressure he was until that momment.

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After that quick spar, that was not even a challenge for lain of course, phalanx hoped the heat of battle would make him start cast shadows like lain said, but that not happen, in a rush, lain apply series of shadow claw attacks, despite phalanx was holding with his iron body, that only made lain in a huge rampage, he dont waited for the barrier end, but instead attacked until end. eventually phalanx was not able to hold and took all the blows until he is put on ground.

 He observes phalanx, not feeling a single manifestation of shadow manipulation. The boy is useless, he was the last one who could find a magic he could use, and in the end, was like all the other ones, he thinks about a way that may give him a incentive, even though it is not a well-regarded method.

"Well phalanx, looks like you're not able to use shadow magic too, you know what that means? its time to give up." He starts to provoke him and will not stop.
(Lain)
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 On the floor, covered with cuts, and coughing up some blood, phalanx looks down at his mentor, slightly disappointed in himself, was this his last chance and still nothing? he still wouldn't accept that his dream was going to end like this, He gets up, still covered in pain and makes an effort to stand up while talking to his mentor.

"Please... its my last chance, i think if i train more i will get it, dont give up on me yet." He has with his hands on the thighs, fighting to not fall.
(Phalanx)
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  Plead?, Not good, he would really have to get it right where it hurts. "Dont make me laugh, i saw all i needed, you dont have value for me the way you're now, get out of my sight." He rolls his lower boddy and with a spin kick, he pushes phalanx to ground again. "Look at you, you cant be a silver sentinel, you dont have magic like most of the others, you dont have any striking feature, what make you think i should expend more time with you." He look at him on ground while moves his head. "Give up, its my last warning."
(Lain)
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 He was right, all phalanx did until now was cultivate a hate for himself that grows every day, after remember that he lets all that rage flow, in a explosion of emotions he gets up and Aims a uppercut right into Lain chin. "RUAHHHH" he could not even said words he was too much blinded to think right.
(Phalanx)
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Yes, that was lain wanted He could feel the anger of phalanx molding his body not only as emotion but as a booster. he expeted some shadow forms into that blow, he dont dodged, he just observed while phalanx came closer and closer.
(Phalanx)
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But nothing came, he blow his lain chin and make his head move, even with that, was not a close hit to make him feel somet... what? bleed? his nose is bleeding? what phalanx did?? that was only a common puch, how did that managed to hurt lain, he looks at his hand, now red by the impact of the blow. Was that a not common blow? his head was confused. He looks at lain... He is not with any expressions.
(Phalanx)
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 Moments of strange silence, it seems like an eternity with phalanx breathing hard and lain bleeding from the nose without saying anything. a burst of shadow magic was deal and all phalanx surrounds were darkened, with shapes human-like clones were made, attacking him and throwing him on wall, on ground for a whole minute. Lain was angry, he did not saw what he wanted, and his garbage still made him split some blood, even nothing serious, his pride was hurt and he needed to release his fury in the closest person. in that case phalanx...

After a whole minute of beat he stops the shadows attacks and stare at phalanx. "Never come near me again, or i will make more than just use you as a ball and play with my shadows." He turn his back and leaves the camp while phalanx is on ground.
(Lain)
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His last chance of leaning magic was leaving the camp, Covered with much bigger cuts and purple bruises in his body, he observes the sky, and finnaly have time to think he made lain bleed, that is something right?, maybe he can be something if he train right?... no... the self-hate was taking control of his way of think. 'you did only get a luck blow, luck will end' He thought. He could not recognize his small achievements, because his vision was too attached to what was seen as common where he lived. Without anyone to cheer for him? guide him? because they dont even see his as a magi after all. He get its a bad vibe for a long time.
(Phalanx)
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Phalanx vision ends... as his batte with kael in silverwall.

During the Phalanx fight, he was a little disconnected from reality, in his surroundings he no longer saw the surroundings of the mine, he saw it as if it were his homeland, and his opponent was one of his former mentors.

His strokes were beautiful and accurate, each one carried the weight of having to prove himself, with all his strength, in addition to what he himself could take, each kick and punch tore more and more his muscles, the adrenaline mixed with fatigue helped to forget.

Phalanx's face was in a state of trance, like a boxer holding on to keep from passing out.

But the reality came on horseback, to prove that he was not enough at the moment.

The sequence of claw attacks made him wake up to reality, he held on to the maximum using his iron body, but then he reached the limit time of spell, and the attacks got more wild, without choice he started to flex his muscles to defend himself each hit he trembles and flex again and again, most of his body was damaged.

In a last act of despair he throws a hard punch to the ground breaking him and forcing his opponent to get away from him, opening enough distance for an escape, now he was bleeding, while all his body muscles were torn and fatigued. "Im not finished with you... you will see me again" He smiles. "Lain..." He started to retreat. the memory of his shadow instructor was still strong.
(Phalanx)

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