[Eulogy]

 
killing.
 
it's a means to an end.
 
i have not yet had the displeasure of personally
ending someone's life, but i was fourteen years
old when i sentenced someone to their death.
the executioner told me that one must live to
tell the tale while the other one must become
the tale. i always thought our enemies would
come in the form of terrible, eldritch beings,
but the ones that sat before me were nothing
but scared girls, crying as i struggled to decide
who would continue and who would not.
 
...
 
by leonaus, i'm so weak.
 
i almost vomited as i watched that hallowed
blade plunge into that girl's form. do you want
to know what her last words consisted of? a
goodbye to her sister, then a thank you to me
for choosing her over the younger one. despite
the comforting of my mother, i can't get the scene
out of my mind. why do i feel so awful? why
can't i be as firm and sure of myself as my mother?
why can't i just close my heart off to my enemy?
 
...
 
it's all so tiring, but i'll just have to bear it.
yes, i must remember that what i did
today was something few people can do.
it was a good thing. it was a just thing.