[ratqueen]

hey there geeks and gamers, have you ever wanted to be completely ripped off? like come face to face with actual daylight robbery? well, good news, because i accidentally broke the headphones i've been using since 2015 and when i said "well i guess it's fine if i just use these shitty skullcandy earbuds instead since they're the single other audio device i have" our corporate overlords manipulated my cat through subliminal messages to force her to chew at them and render them defunct so i'd have to Buy A New Product.

however, im literally broke, so the vicious scale of capitalist balance dictates that now you can purchase one lackluster rat queen character description for the unrealistic and grossly exorbitant price of $25 USD (please only buy this if ur literally that one aptly named spyro character but in real life). im usually available vaguely between 4pm EST and 10pm EST these days, but may turn up like a bad penny at random hours outside of this schedule. i also might take a little bit to respond no matter what hour it is because i don't have internet right now (i can still deliver the description via phone hotspot).

might take me a few days to make it, please don't pay me until it's done and until you think it works for you, thanks.

styles range from pretty minimalist to decidedly not minimalist, if you have any preferences in regards to style or design—this could be dos or don'ts—please let me know in advance (also again don't pay me until i have sent u the finished Product:tm: ), but i reserve the right to slip in jokes or references to bands you probably don't know of in some obscure corner of the image where you'll never see it.

here's some recent ones because i need some showing to balance out all that telling

optionally i will write a 3,000 word erotic short story of your devising for a hundred bucks, or 100 USD, as they say

also if you don't have a penchant for burning money a la the joker in that one scene of the dark knight where he—as you may have guessed—burns money, im obligated to plug folian's descriptions as a reasonably priced alternative to my own

also also im only taking two of these things before closing them again because i can tangibly feel the devil collecting a fragment of my soul with every profile commission i do and i have no clue what that guy's using them for