[Bluebird]

♪

The first time I encountered despair was when I was out on an adventure with Bartholomew and Dokja.

We met Varrach; then, not an imperfect. Playing superheroes, were we.

At first, my intent was to simply proclaim that one day we'd bring him down...

But then, I witnessed the pain brought unto Dokja as he charged forth impulsively.

Anger at seeing such a dear friend tormented in pain caused me to act on impulse as well.
That was when Varrach taught me a lesson - one of scarred and broken bones, the occult resting within it's wounds and coursing through my veins.
It sought to reach my soul.
Instead, all I got were nightmares. Pain, despite the attempt to smile. Agitation and fear rocking my being.
The second and numerous times were seeing those I cared for in disarray; injured, at hope's end...

I heard your fears. I heard your wish, Lirael.
I saw your desire to grow, and I wished you to flourish.
And I'm so, so proud of you.
No matter how much you struggle within the chains of your anger...
You blossomed. So, so brightly. The most beautiful of flowers beneath the moon.
And you can blossom even more.

Lugh.
You who I love so much; you who felt as if he did not matter, as if he was not deserving to be known.
So desperately did I want you to learn that was not the case. So desperately did I bug you, incessantly, to get it across.
To know that it worked and you see merit in yourself and your actions brings me the greatest of joys.
You, my guiding moon within the night that had threatened to overtake me...
Did you know?

You have so much farther to go, too.
Don't doubt yourself anymore.

Dokja, my bygone friend.
I miss you. I think of you often. You were the only one that had been given insight to my fears, my worries.
You were the first to know of that which plagued me. The first I could rely on, because I knew you'd understand.
Are you well?
Are you happy?
Are you thriving? Did you find what you sought?
I hope you're at peace, my friend...
And I hope you know that my doors are always open for you.

Jackie.
The two of us are one and the same.
I hope you could forgive me for my actions back then.
But know that you always have my support, as you did then.
That prayer I gave you -- it never ceases. Let it carry you unto the new morrow.

Eleos!
Upon meeting you, I felt as if my true calling was found.
That dream we have is proceeding well.
And... thank you.
My heart was at risk of being enshrouded by a darkness, unbeknownst to all.
I think it's because of you I was able to keep my shine.

Lila.
My sweet, adoptive, elder sister.
How the world fights against you, tooth and nail...
The pain of your heart and soul knowing no bounds.
You, who feel as if existence is nothing but pain--
I hope that soon, I can show you that there's still a warm, budding light within your chest.
Simply waiting to be released.

---

I had a dream.
While Hulda flushed out the remainders of the occultic taint, I had a dream...
The fields were vast, a beautiful meadow with flowers growing every which way, spread across wide.
The sky was blue and bright - a cloud dotting it, every now and then.
And within that vast center, a magnificent, glowing tree; windchimes hanging from the branches.
So familiar, so warm. At peace, I finally felt! And it was as if it spoke to me; the gentle chiming of a voice.

'All will be well. Have faith.'

To Eleos I spoke.
He told me cosmic and holy magi can have visions, sometimes.
Was Solais reaching to me in that dream? Or...
Was it that once my spirit was free of it's negative shackles, my mind was opened?

I don't know.
Except for one thing.

Alacritas, watch over me.
Your kindness and love I will spread.
Your harmony, I will embody.
Assist me in reaching out to those I hold dear -
and those I've yet to meet.
Alacritas, I wish for them all to know it's okay to live.

And I wish to seek out what your meaning of life is.
Pray, watch over me, Alacritas.

I want to protect that which you created.
I want to protect the life that I have begun to cherish greatly.
Lux Aurea, our garden. Solais, our tree of hope.

Shall we find the meaning together?