[~Aoria-sama~]

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Dear Papa,

The world is a lot scarier than you ever made it seem.  Everything you ever taught me about survival, I never thought that I would have to utilize those skills so soon.

You used to love how the flowers would bloom in the spring - taking care of your garden was a sense of pride for you.

I always admired your ability to care and nurture the things and people in your life, and I think about our walks through the forest so often now that I am alone.

“Every flower is a soul blossoming into nature, where flowers bloom so does hope.”

-but Papa, I see the flowers blooming…So where has my hope gone?

 I know I am supposed to keep moving forward, to never give up…But how am I supposed to do that, when I am so scared to start over?

 To allow myself to love the people in my life, and possibly lose everything again? I don’t know if I could handle it.

I don’t think I ever really handled it when I lost you, to begin with.

No.

I won’t be afraid. I can’t. Not anymore.

From now on I will be brave, for you. For them. All of you.

I’ve made friends here in Meranthe, I think. I don’t know if most of them kind of just tolerate me, but..

I know for sure at least one of them cares, and I swore an oath to protect them.

So everyday I will get out there and fight.

For them, and for me.

Life is too short. So short.

So maybe it's time for me to blossom, just like those flowers.
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[~Aoria-sama~]

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Dear mama,

I think I am beginning to understand why you were so protective over all of us.  Once you’ve had a taste of death and loss, the bigger picture of life really does become much clearer.  Did that intensify when you had your children? I suppose when you’re left responsible for three of your own, keeping them safe becomes much more terrifying than anything else. I’ve gotten older, here in Mernathe - and many of my friends are beginning to have children of their own.  Though instead of feeling happy as I should, I pity them. I pity that for the rest of their lives, they will have to fear for the safety of those lives they will help grow and nurture for however long the universe allows it.

You’d be happy to know I have made a great deal of friends here in Aphros.  I became a squire, got fired as a squire - only to be let back into the Bastion as a Squire once more. Living in a place that is under the constant aim of carnage and chaos, becoming accustomed to loss and death is proving to be an important skill to have. Kuzen was killed - who might be next? How many more loved ones will I have to lose before the evils who seek to destroy my home are eliminated?

Sometimes I think of the stories you used to tell me of the days you and Papa first met. Neither of you did quite fit into normal society, and the story of how you left the city to live in the openness of nature together? It always gave me the picture of a perfect love. One without worry, strife, or loss. The world you described to me was so much different then the world I find myself in now. Sometimes I contemplate living off grid too -

but then I think of him.

-and them.

-and suddenly I find myself immobilized.

Did you ever truly realize how often love is about sacrifice, too?

I just hope I don’t lose myself amongst it all.

I’ve started multiple projects, with the skills you taught me.

These projects may very well change the direction of our losses.

While I have been taught that the dark and light must coexist together…

Some darkness is above nature, and must be destroyed.

I do it for you. For them.

I miss you. I’ll never stop.

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