[Quatral]

 

Today, I have known great joy.
 
It is not the kind of joy one feels at a birthday party, or when you find a nickel on the pavement.
 
... But? It was still joy, I like to think.

I was also afraid.
 
More afraid than I think I've ever been before.
 
Even when I was small...
 
What might've lurked beneath the bed never frightened me so much as what stood right before me.
 
I don't know what all this means yet. It surely can't be anything good, but I'll wait a while- see what comes from fate. Like that frayed drawstring that seems about to fall off my boxers at any given moment. The strands of destiny are never fair, always testing my courage and patience.
 
It's coming for me too. I'm sure of it.
 
I think I love killing too much. I'll go to Hel one day for sure.