[Benyah]

Year: 1205AD
1 Year before the birth of Shiri Shi Shimasu

A minor noble hailing from the mountainous regions of Xuefang, finds himself within a tavern just beyond the boundaries of Delphina. He sat alone in the bar, unaccompanied by any of his suitors, nor superiors. 

Slowly, the door cracks open, a pink haired lady with brown eyes enters the tavern... 
She sits just beyond his reach, but it took no genius to tell the young lord was awestruck by the maiden's beauty. 

He spoke onto her, in a formal, yet pompous tone, as if speaking down to her:
"I presume, your kind does not know the standard rules of decorum? Might I wonder if you levy no greetings to your royalty, here?"
Ever aggressive, ever offensive the lord was, even before things he had fell in awe with, he portrayed disdain. 

She responded to him in a kind tone, almost, lovingly at that:
"You are owed nothing in this land."



And that's where it all began. A budding love between a lord, and a commoner within a distant land. 

Their love was intense, and dramatic. It fell as if, to the two lovers their romance was doomed to fail, as the young lord, named
[b]Shinichi Shigenobu had further ambitions, and it certainly would not end with someone who did not advance his status. 


Alas, out of wedlock, they had a child and her name was to be...

Shiri Shi Shimasu[/b]

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The bastard child of Lord Kasai Shinichi was born onto this world, her name was given to her as a gift, and yet, a clever play upon his last name, her heritage.

She was to be named: "Shiri Shi Shimasu" utilising the "Shi" in "Shinichi" and "Shigenobu" three times, and for the last name in that particular context it meant: "To do something".  She was bestowed a pink blanket, and a ring which held the insignia of her father's household:

It was his statement, and final gift to his child before abandoning her. The knowledge that she was born 'to do something' in this grand world. 

Her father being out of the picture made things difficult for her mother, but she struggled through as best she could. Sadly, her health rapidly declined after the departure of Shiri's father, and soon there after the child was alone, forced to fend for itself within the lush streets of Delphina. 

But the child had grit, it did odd jobs and worked hard to be able to feed itself from a young age. Growing older, Shiri paid a tutor to teach her how to read, and write. But of course, she was never raised to have proper etiquette. This made her appear rude, or lacking decorum even from a young age. 

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She became a woman:

Aged 18, having known a life of hard work, grit, and determination she decided to reach out, to make friends. She met a prince, his name was Vanitas. Far younger than she was, but still, successful all the same.

She met an olderman by the name of Adrian, and he bestowed upon her words of earnest encouragement, she was moved. 
She met a young man with red hair, and antlers, he provided her items to use in battle, and carried her around the city and beyond on a minor adventure. 

She met the Lady Regent, Miyumi S. Irontail, who had assumed Shiri was of Xuefeng's heritage. Though she was correct, Shiri didn't know it at the time, and denied such a claim.

She met Yuki Akatsuki, a kind lady who offered her an escort back home, and had slain boars that chased her.
She met Chouko, an aspiring lawyer and artificer.

But she couldn't help but feel as if...
Something was missing, she was listless, vacant, without purpose, without a place to belong to.

She found purpose, bestowed upon her by Yuki, a job within Prospera that was prosperous, more money than she knew what to do with, a fine cozy apartment inside of the city, a bath so big it could be considered a pool, and in came new attire, it was expensive, how could she ever afford this...
To have such a life...

If not for Yuki. 

---

A year went by

Externally, Shiri seemed fine. The same old happy, nervous, and curious Researcher who had a knack for hard work. But...
Her experiences, the things she had seen, and the things she had to do to gain a slither of the respect nobles were given at birth made her bitter, envious, and angry at the world.

Not to mention, her lack of tact made it difficult for her when approaching women, she felt as if she was difficult to love, or atleast something women did not want, not for more than one night anyway, as evidence by her first time.

She often thought to herself: "Why couldn't I of been born better?" "Why was I cursed to live this life?" (A noble.)

She felt as if she deserved more. To be up there among the stars...like those hoised above her in society, were. 
Adrian said onto her some words of wisdom, he told her he saw what she desired in her hands in the future, and commented on the fact people seem to want what they aren't, or don't have.

For Adrian, it was the lack there of nobility he desired. Shiri was too young at the time to understand where he was coming from, or the full weight of what he was conveying...

But some day, maybe in her older years she'd understand. But that day was not now. 

Shiri continued, gathering more influence, meeting more people, conducting more research, hoping one day, she too, would attain the heights of those who were born into a better life.

Shiri often gazed upon the ring she held since she was a child, but she never wore it in public. She merely kept it on her person to observe when she wasn't having the best of days. She always longed to learn of it's meaning...

Maybe someday.

---

At present:
Shiri spends most of her time within Xuefeng, she finds herself to be appreciative of Miyumi S. Irontail, as well as her family. 

She feels at peace within Xuefeng, as well as intrigued by matters which she's been permitted to conduct research on by Miyuhiko S. Irontail.

She makes travels across the continent constantly, and she has met a tremendous amount of people. In fact, she had even gained the audience of the Archduke, who had torn her to shreds, and rebuilt her at the same time, filling her with hope, and a longing to succeed. 

[Benyah]

 Who am I really? 

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Another day, another lady makes way into my quarters, of course she was invited. 
I can't help but wonder if there's not something more within this world, for me. 


And I'm tired of people saying the same things "you'll find love" "such things work out on their own"; I don't care. I'm tired of hearing it.
I want a crown to cast a shadow upon my imperfections. I desire more coin that I can spend in a reasonable time. I desire more recognition to drown those who doubt to death in my acclaim. 

Maybe I'm taking things too seriously... 
But I'm tired of all of these privileged nobles deciding: "I"ve already got it good enough, I want to be like you, the poor commoner"
But we all want what we can't have...

I acknowledge my hypocrisy. Well, I look upon those with lesser and they say: "You're blessed Shiri". I would've looked at myself and said that now. To think in a year I've come so far, and yet I neglect to deny some things being whispered in my ear.


You'd find this the part of the story where I grow up, and stop craving what it is I don't have, and settle for what I do, but it has been offered to me. Play my cards right...

But what's the right move? See, this play called power is a lot like a woman. How do I say the right words to make it work? How do I do the right things to get the best outcome?

Questions which you'll never have the answers for... I guess you've just got to... try your best! Hope for the stars, and at worst land in the sky. Remain faithful, remain hopeful, don't lose yourself and stay true to you.

Maybe... I should take my own advice…instead of hypothetically ranting into a journal, as if it is a friend I can confide my truest, and darkest thoughts within.

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