[BerylFlint]

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In a world of nothing but blue and white, suspended hundreds of feet above the ground, I am whole. My heart sings to the beat of my wings as they push through the air, it dances to the pulse and the blood that swirls within my veins, it rushes with every turn of the wind that batters against my scales as my tail twists through the currents and updrafts. There are no problems, there are no complications… There is only adrenaline and wonder for the world that stretches vast before me. Endless green and browns, hills that are slight rises on the land, blue that crosses over it all in small tendrils, trees and animals yet pinpricks so far below... It is a beautiful sight, it is a humbling sight. And when I see all of it, so much more than one can understand in one glance, maybe even in a lifetime…

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I fall in love with the sky all over again, hooked as I am by its joyful talons that dig willingly into my soul, so I fly and fly. I twirl though the winds, I swoop through the fluffy clouds, I stretch my claws to thunder and rain, and the world passes under me until the horizon that was once so bright starts to take on orange and purples, and it is time for the second favorite part of my day. Because all it takes is a single action, the ceasing of flapping my wings at my side, and…

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I fall.

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The wind pounds against my chest, screaming against my scales, my veins fill with adrenaline and fire as the world rises rapidly towards me, larger and larger with each suspended moment. I am a meteor blazing back to the earth, I am speeds like thunder's grace, I am the thrill of the fall in each roaring cell until- in a mighty flap my wings fight through the air, surging against all of the force and the physics that carry me. It almost threatens to break, but my muscles are strong and my membranes hold against the air, and the ground now so much closer slows. With strained wings I glide the rest of the way to the earth below, My talons sink into the dirt and grasses, my ears suspended to the sudden chirping of bugs and birds, the shifting of the stalks of flowers and plants with plentiful colors dulled in the coming dark in the clearing I have landed in.

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As the adrenaline of my dive fades… I fall in love with the earth too. I relish in the weight beneath my claws, the feeling of the dirt and the nature around me that supports my tired wings and limbs, that holds up the color and world around me. The moment does not last long for there are things I need to do, but without the earth the sky would be blank of beauty, and without the sky so would I never be able to feel so weightless, if not for a single set of moments.

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Still as I relish, it does not stop me from scanning the clearing. I am an interloper here, the animals and daemons that touch against the tendrils of my attention carefully watch me, the dragon in their midst, hesitant and careful. They are right too, but… I am not hungry, not yet. It is Tu-Lanka to hunt for sport, rather than for sustenance or purpose. Wasteful, even if these are inherently lands of waste. No, I am here to rest my wings and limbs until the sun rises again, and my journey continues, for the places I am to be… I am not there yet.

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My talons cut and grasp against the darkened fields as I search for a place to rest for the night, shoulders and the edges of my wings brushing against the tops and branches of sparse trees. I find a space in a now darkened clearing with a softly burbling brook, its waters clean and cold as I lower my head to relieve my thirst. There, the grass rustling against my sides and stomach I lay against the ground, comfortable. I do not need much, not as much as I used to a long time ago. Scales bear the weight of the ground and the cold, and my presence scares away lesser daemons that would otherwise bother me. And so…

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The world is silent. There are no footsteps outside my doors, no alchemical tinctures bubbling away, no bang of industry, cut from the sounds of the city that I know so well… What replaces it is soft and murmuring. The brush of the leaves above, the swish of the grass below, the burble and cries and birds as they steady to the night… It is peaceful. It is calm, it is empty… and half of me still expects to be handed a stack of papers to be done, so much so that I cannot help a deep rumbling laugh that breaks its peaceful silence. Some things never go away, but… I know my colleagues, I know my people. I… worry about them, but they will be fine, I trained them well after all.

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There are things to be done, and an opportunity to do it. I will not be gone forever, just… for a little while.

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Night comes. The clear sky fills with so many glimmering dots that even I cannot count them all. Under those stars where so many people I once knew watch me from above… I fall asleep as I attempt to count them all, and dream of memories and names under the shroud of the many that watches me.

I wake to the morning light, the glowing dew falling off my scales and the blossoms around me. Aeldfyr’s sun slowly rises in the sky, and I rise with it to a long stretch, bright and ready as my bones and limbs lock into place.

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Another day. What shall it give me? I’m not certain, but the sky calls, and so as I push off the ground… I soar once more.

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***

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The smell of salt and brine twirls around my nose and tongue, sand slipping beneath my talons as the waves make a gentle pounding pitter patter sound, running off and on as they have for thousands of years. An ocean stretches before me, vast and unconquerable, yet so beautiful in its mesmerizing azure blue. The air is cool near the beach, enjoyable against the blazing sun that reflects against my scales. A strange scene it would make for anyone to see, a dragon that sits against the sands, silent as it stares into the horizon... But here, there is no-one else but me and the animals that thrive in places like this, and they are not brave enough to venture near me, not yet.

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The beach is… a special place for me. Digging a talon through the sand, for a time I am filled with old memories. Bright days filled with happy cries, the running footsteps of my little ones, catching and running back and forth for hours on end… The surges of cold water against my skin, the depths of the translucent blue, the worried surge of a child's first swim... From those rise to older memories, when youth turns to problems and adulthood, yet the still earnest efforts to try to enjoy life together. And within all of that…

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I am reminded of her. My daughter, my precious water drake whose emotions flowed like the tides, strong and fiery. She would have enjoyed this beach and its waters, to dive in its depths in ways I never could, and likely even less could do now. Her presence haunts me, but it haunts me with love. A hope that beyond she would rest a hand against my side and tell me… it's alright. Things just… aren't that way, and such is life. We had our beaches when we could, even if… we never went to as many as we should’ve. But that… Well, I was not a perfect mother, no-where near.

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Another regret, like grains of sand hefted up by the little waves on a beach, lapping emotions over and over again… One would think the collection of those little grains of angst would form endless hills of sand to drown under. But time and retrospection has a way of gently brisking away those dunes, turning it into comfort and memories. To ignore them is not right, but you cannot drown under those dunes either, or at least I do not. I do want to, after all… there is still much to do.

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I rise to my claws with the drifts of sand falling from scales in mysterious patterns, shaking my torso from side to side to clear some of the grains from in between my scales. I will stay here for the next few weeks to months, mapping the area, researching the flora and fauna… The interplay of the ambient Water mana of a natural sea interacting with Nature mana has always been a mild interest of mine, especially on its slow adaptation of the fauna and alchemical herbs that can be found in areas like this. But first…

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I hope she is watching as with power flowing into my hind-legs, I charge chest first into the sea, the cool and salty water capluushing around me as it slips through my scales and limbs with adrenaline and the love of movement, held in the hands of the ocean around me… as I have fun for those who I cannot enjoy the waves with anymore.

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***

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I am flying slowly above the densest forest cover I have seen in a very long time. The canopy of large and dawning trees block the ground below like an impassable barrier, as if they were there since the primordial times themselves. My wings beat to the rustling of thousands of leaves and branches clacking together, a noise unlike any I have heard in my life. For the past few hours I have been searching for a break in that endless green that can fit my large form without hurting myself, and I may just have found exactly that. There is an awkward blotch in the coverage that shows browns and darkness, my ticket to the hidden realm below.

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It is an awkward descent into that empty space, the tip of my wings breaking and shaking against the branches and leaves, but slowly and carefully I lower into a different world. It is a dim world, filled with endless variations of shadows, browns, and greens, where rays of sunshine pierce the coverage like beckonings from above. The ground is empty but of all except for the thick roots of trees that grow over each other in gnarly crags and the most hardened grasses and vines that make a living with only the few touches of sun they have access to. Yet despite that they try to thrive anyway, and in many ways I will always find that beautiful.

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There is a solemn pride to the thick tree trunks that lie around me, reflected in the ambient nature mana that flows within craggy limbs and the air. This is a place that has stood the test of ages, storms, death, and time. Its large and solitary inhabitants, yet ever in embrace above, have seen more than I may ever know. Such a different world… even if our lifespans extend the same, mine potentially even more. I am of flesh and its fire, separated from the slow eternally dawning ideal of plants, yet… the grass is always more curious on the other side.

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…But what am I doing? I am getting distracted, or if I am to be honest with myself, stalling.

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My claws slip over the roots as I trot to one of the larger tree’s, raising one of my front-limbs to set my talons on its craggy surface, careful not to break the bark or cut into its solid flesh. I cannot feel its pulse, I cannot understand its truth, but in another world, in another timeline… maybe I would. That's partly why I fell in love with him, after all. Albeit there were many more reasons than that.

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I take a breath, and my domain wraps through my form. Life gathers and forms into my scales, into every mote of cell and flesh, inherently what I am. My song sings in my chest, rumbling through my draconic heart. I am a song of the life of something new, but… from something new there must always be the old, and the switch is as natural as everything else. My form shrinks, mass shifts, life condenses into me, until… it is near a human’s hand that rests against the bark in its nailed talons, and I stand on two rather than four.

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The air chills against my exposed skin, my feet shift awkwardly against the ground, my breaths are soft and slow as my wings stretch and brush against my hair, the world shifting into awkwardness as I return to bipedal motion, but the unfamiliarity flees soon enough. The sensations are no-longer dulled by scales, the heavy weight free from my shoulders and spine… and the world is suddenly so different, so much larger and grand. I will always feel more comfortable in my other form, but… this was once mine too, and it had its appeal.

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Steadying myself, I gently raise my hand from the coarse bark, looking around. I am here for a reason, one that should have been done a long time ago, and this place… is not the right place. Movement returns to my limbs quickly. I hop over the mighty roots of tree’s, my long tail twisting behind my back for counterbalance. I run through the layers of fallen leaves, moss, and more than I can ever know crunch by crunch, brushing my sides and hands against the mighty tree-trunks that rise high above. I scan over the ground and the endless forest, looking for something of which I’m not quite yet sure of yet. But I find it in a larger clearing, with a tree in its middle so large my neck hurts to even attempt to look for its top.

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Here will do. The world is hushed as I find a space against the tree, resting my back against the bark as I lower to sit against the cold ground. The forest is still except for the leaves and the soft breeze that soothes against my skin. Unchanging and primordial… he would have loved it, chances are.

There is a ring on my ring finger, its band filled with the softly-glowing letters of Athelite scripture. It is a ring I have had for almost two centuries, and one that has kept its promise for much less. In this forest, in this place of nature… I am here to put it to rest.

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It almost seems… too easy as the ring comes off my finger with a crackle of static electricity. It rests warm in my palm, and the echoes of memories come. The childish meetings, working together in the labs as teens, evolving to something more as adults. For what started as acquaintances, rose to friends and lovers, and ended to apathy and loss. Yet that smile and silver tongue that I could never forget… For all in this world I truly knew no-body that once fit me better than him.

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“Hey, Rapheal.” I hold the ring to my chest, my eyes closed as my wings wrap over my front, warm and cozy like he once held me in his arms. Nobody can hear my words, and so they come freely. “...I know it's been awhile. I’ve been doing… alright. A lot has happened since we last talked, some I’m certain you would have been surprised about.” I cannot help a musing mall smile, faint as an old echo. “...I’ve been enjoying my life recently, seeing the outside world, doing what I love. There is still so much to do, but… I think you would have been happy with what I’ve done. I hope you are.” My voice echoes into the space, soft and steady.  “...Our descendants are doing fine. We’re even onto our eighth generation, still as cute as always. They remind me of you, sometimes. I see the hints of your face, and I’m… happy. Because I loved you, and maybe some small part of me always will.” My wings unravel as I raise the ring, gently pressing it to my lips.

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“...You respected me, you supported me, you made me laugh and feel better when I was down, you listened to my idea’s, ran with my fancies… You were a wonderful person, my friend before my lover. Maybe that's… why it hurt so much more when you left, far before you passed away. Why some of that, more than I wanted… turned to hate.”

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My mouth tastes of iron as I raise the ring, driving one of my talons through the layers of moss and leaves. Life twists and turns, and from a seed an ivory spire begins to slowly grow out of the ground, formed out of the hardest bone of all as it roots into the earth.

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“Still, I don't regret our relationship. You gave me happiness, you gave me love, you gave me a place to be and a family. I wanted to see you up there in the stars one day, but… I can't make you wait any longer, and… neither am I the woman you married when we were twenty. Some part of me will always love you, but… the spark has long faded. All things must change in time, and so must this.” There is no relief, only a soft sadness of what could’ve been, the salutations of an end stretched out for far too long.

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“...I couldn't think of a better place to put it. The old house where we raised our little ones is long gone, I’m afraid. But here, within the place of nature like you used to love and wield… It feels right.”

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I raise the ring, guiding it to where the ivory spires intersect at its top, gently setting it in a niche that forms within the cracking clay like bone. The bone wraps around its bands, and in its embrace it is held to see the trees and the endless forest for as long as its structure will last, a little unknown message of a long extinguished love.

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There is nothing left to do, nothing left to feel. With one lingering last glance to the shrine… I close my eyes, leaving the clearing for what will most likely be the last time in my life.

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(I wanted to write/finish a few more of these before I returned, but there will be more! I've really been enjoying personal writing, and so for those who stuck to the end, I hope you enjoyed it/at least found it mildly interesting. I know its a little different from the normal bio-posts)