[Asztal]

✦ ─────── AQUARELLE'S SONGBOOK ─────── ✦
( if you're reading this, you're already cursed ♡ )

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Entry #??? - I stopped counting after the ink smudged.
Weather: Raining. Again. Lucky everyone else, I suppose.

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Alright. Notes for the day.

I tried holding my breath underwater for longer than ten seconds and almost died. Again. A siren. Who can't breathe underwater. The cosmic joke never gets old. Every fish in that reef saw me flailing. I could hear them judging me with their horrible little bubble mouths. No thoughts behind those eyes and yet somehow they still looked disappointed.

I am the ocean's biggest embarrassment and I haven't even gotten to the singing part yet.

SONG IDEAS (work in progress, do NOT steal):

• Ballad about a sailor who wronged me (which one? yes.)
  
• Something uptempo about tide pools?? Could be cute
  
• Love song absolutely not
  
• THE CURSE SONG needs more verses about rain (see below)
  

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⊱ ──── THE CURSE ──── ⊰

Current working version. Performance-ready.
Delivered to: several people who deserved it.

May the sun avoid you,
May it only go badly for you,

May the rain not shelter you
May it find you in every doorway,
May it soak through every roof you crawl under,
May every storm know your name
and follow you like a loyal dog
you never deserved,

May you lose yourself on your path.
May seven priests read over you,
And still not find a cure.

Notes on delivery:

• Maintain eye contact the ENTIRE time. Do not blink. They hate that.
  
• Voice should start honey-sweet. Let it go sharp around the rain verse. Like a hook dragged along the hull of a ship. Slow.
  
• The rain section is the anchor (ha) of the whole thing. Draw it out. Let them feel the water rising. Let them understand that shelter is a privilege and I am revoking it.
  
• If they laugh, sing it again. Slower.
  
• Last line should be almost a whisper. A lullaby for someone who will never sleep well again. ♡
  

It's funny, isn't it? I can't breathe in water. But I can make sure the water never stops breathing down their necks. The rain is mine even if the ocean isn't. Every puddle, every drizzle, every downpour,  those are my little love letters to people who really should not have crossed me.

The priests bit is just for flavor. I've met priests. They are not equipped for this.

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OTHER NOTES:

Tried singing at the docks today for practice. Two sailors walked into a mast. One dropped a whole crate of fish former colleagues into the harbor. I would feel guilty but I am physically incapable of it.

A seagull stole my lunch mid-verse. I have added seagulls to the curse list. Pending.

Someone told me I should "just learn to swim better." I am workshopping a tenth verse of the curse specifically for them. Something about may every cup you drink from leak. May your socks never fully dry. I'll fine-tune it.

Philosophical question of the day:
If I'm a siren who can't go in the water, am I more of a... land bass? A beach bass? A shore thing?

I'm leaving that one in actually. That's funny. I'm funny.

Reminder: Buy more waterproof ink. The irony of a siren's journal getting ruined by water damage is NOT lost on me, it is simply unwelcome.

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"She had the voice of the deep and the lungs of a land mammal.
Truly, the gods have a sense of humor."
- Me, about me. I'm my own best critic and biographer.

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Tomorrow's agenda:

• Practice the curse (rain section x3, really milk it)
  
• Avoid the ocean (as per usual) (this is fine) (I'm fine)
  
• Find that one merchant who sold me a "waterbreathing charm" that turned out to be a painted rock. He is about to have the worst weather of his life.
  
• Write more fish puns. The world doesn't want them but the world is getting them anyway. You could say I'm doing it... just for the halibut