[Rambling]

"Your name is Paloma."

Two years, and I found myself in a foreign land. 

The place blessed by Koretheia. Beneath the boughs of a golden tree.

Arcadia.

I stood on its streets, mesmerized. Hypnotized. But I heard the whisper.

"Another Wolken! Wow!"

True to those words, I have yet to see more than one other. The one called Bailey Rowe.

Except...

He and I are nothing alike, are we?

It isn't a problem.

Sometime after I meet a Faeborne. Her name is Ismene.

She weaves magic through ice and blood. She took my hand and let a chill drop fall onto my finger.

The lines - my 'magical circuits' - glowed with an answer I was already aware of. 

So why did I ask?

I wanted to make sure.

She calls me "Miss". I feel pretty.

I watched a seed be planted in the woods north of Arcadia.

A seed of Aquantio. The azure tree. The child of the golden tree, Solais.

It was fun. I had fun. And I felt welcome. More than I have in years.

To the east, Dal'thala. The seat of Delphina,of which Arcadia is bound to.

To the north, Nereides, the home of many Sirens.

There, I watched a crown be passed from one to another.

Duchess Aglasia Oceansong. She is well loved, and open to speak with.

A storyteller, she says she is. I believe it.

She DOES tend to waffle on... heh...

But at that coronation there was someone(?) else.

She calls herself Servant. Many call her Seneschal.

I told her that's not a name. She said it is to her.

"Your name is Paloma."

She was curious.

I don't know about her. Rumors abound.

She calls me "boy". I feel handsome... but patronized.

...

A day came where I sat beneath Solais and the world turned red.

I have been afraid. Terribly afraid. This fear was different.

Something happened and someone died.

Someone called "Sapphiron"?

Whatever was the point?

"Your name is Paloma."

After some time I wandered and found myself in a walled city.

Gloomlight Grove. A great statue of Athelios stands in the square.

There I found a man cloaked in...

Cloaked.

They call him Skinwalker.

Another name that... isn't.

"Your name is Paloma."

Oracle. Zealot. Whatever he is, despite all appearances he is... welcoming.

Somehow less unsettling than the Seneschal.

Strange.

There are other places near to there.

Caethir. I do not know what to say about it.

Skinwalker calls it something along the lines of "haunted".

He's right, of course.

...

There is a walking sapling about in Arcadia, plodding along after Nymphaea Aubreen.

I catch up with Ismene, tell her I am practicing my magic.

It turns out I can coax nature to defend me. Surprising.

I thought it would be... something else. All things considered.

"Your name is Paloma."

I am learning alchemy, and where to find things across Meranthe.

Do not travel southwest. Do not approach Aetius and its sorcerers.

Visit Kindleheim where the one called Bailey Rowe resides.

Under Aquantio there was a marriage. 

Grey, shadowy man.

Seanius, obscenely tall woman. Slime. Does it matter? No because...

It was sweet. I've never... ever seen a marriage.

Naturally I had to witness a funeral. It's what I am.

The one that died the day the world turned red.

In Gloomlight Grove.

I shouldn't have gone.

It became a funeral to remember when those that brought about his death came.

Wind and rain, rust and blood, rubble and mud.

I really liked that statue. I hadn't seen much like it. Even the statue of Koretheia seemed small.

I don't know why. The one called dul Vique shattered it.

It was a fight I had not been prepared to see.

But I've heard those sounds before.

"Your name is Paloma."

What could I do?

I took cover in the mud and rain until it was all clear.

Emerged to find Skinwalker declaring himself and the Holy See of Asphodel.

...and all the while I saw one that I do not wish to attract the eye of.

The one called Marciel called her "Tall Lady".

Vinaska.

I should have minded my own business.

I should have stayed far away from Meranthe.

But where would I have gone?

Nowhere else. Nowhere else.

So now here I am, counting the days. Over a year since I came.

How many more do I have?

Well. It doesn't matter.

Come what may, I live up to to my name.

Fly about here and there. Free of chains.

To everyone I meet:

My name is Paloma.

"Good. Now... fly away."

[Rambling]

The field was blighted.

And so it was slashed and burnt to the root.

I spoke when I shouldn't have, and now a gaze has found me.

Speaking of villainy, of scrutiny, or soft hands and...

...soup...

I should not have asked

A very specific hypothetical.

... and so now?

...I'm worried.

But I'm not a threat...

I think.

...why does that not comfort me?

At least... no one ELSE is looking.

But what do I do if they start?

All that was healthy but in need of love
felt the love of the sickle and fire.

No one is around to help.

[Rambling]

Begin.

The Duck, the Hummingbird, the Heron, the ████, the Sparrow, the Cardinal, the Flamingo.

All caged by the ones that dance around the fire.

The ones that dig the pits in the woods.

The ones that leave the marks.

The ones that birthed them, but were not mothers or fathers.

The process required blood of their own.

One day, a wounded owl came and granted them a key.

The ones that kept the cage took the owl away to the pit in the woods.

The young birds looked at the key.

The Flamingo was the most graceful of them, the quickest.

She was the smallest and youngest, at least she could get away.

So they squeezed her from the cage and sent her flying.

She flew throw the trees, through the traps,

to the place that help could be found.

Once she reached them, they would be saved.

She shouldn't have.

The keepers saw the missing fledgling

and bound the rest tighter.

But the ████ was nimbler by far

squeezing out and through the gaps.

But the others...

Just as they slipped off

They came.

They punished the wicked.

They saw the remaining birds.

Something was wrong, what were they doing?

...NO... PLEASE NO...

---

2200 AC

I live in Gloomlight now. Inexplicably, Skinwalker heeds my words as advice, and praises me for wisdom.

Personally, any wisdom I have is a coping mechanism.

...I don't want him to know what I was.

But I think it doesn't matter to him. He wants me to be myself. Makes me promise.

...

You all should be here, with me.

But that's never going to happen.

We begged for help.

We got injustice.

The love is gone, there is justice.

Justice is gone, there is vengeance.

Vengeance? Vengeance.

Anyone would wage war with the gods themselves if you push them hard enough.

But I don't want to wage war with the gods.

But I know what I want to wage war on.

...

I'm afraid.

Because now, more than ever before...

I want to bathe in those the blood of those bastards.

But what about forgiveness?

What about sympathy?

How can I sympathize with the animals I know nothing about?

Even the greatest foe in Meranthe right now...

HIM I understand somewhat.

After all, again, anyone would wage war with the gods if pushed enough.

...I sympathize...

...but he's a butcher now...

All the lines crossed. All potential for reversal cut.

All paths away ignored.

...will I end up like that, if I went back to Enobora, and found them?

Would it be the first stumble at the top of the staircase?

...

Anyway...

The Oracle and Mother Superior are almost disgustingly in love.

Something happened to the Druids, but they're recovering.

...there was a golem named Grock...

...there was a creature called... 'Bleem' or something...

Seneschal is a cat. And something... else.

Krausmas was... alright. Never been to one of these parties.

Even if Castorli and that alchemist crashed it for... no reason.

...something's trying to spread rust plague... again, I hear.

And the Mugens...

...I don't want to speak with Ilia.

...but I understand wanting to kill your parents.

He has a good reason.

...my eyes and ears remain open.

...but I've been... failing to speak not.

Oh well.

Who cares?

Caius?

...of course not.

Open your eyes to the darkness, and drown in its loveless embrace. The gods will not be watching.

[Rambling]

2206 AC

Vengeance.

It's an indulgence.

Rarely sweet.

Often bitter.

I swore to foster stability.

Security.

Even with cruel justice.

For good.

It is not for vengeance.

It is not for justice.

It is simple fact.

There are a few people around that need die.

And so now.

A friend is gone, so there is justice.

And if justice is gone, there is only one recourse

It's been long past time to

I HOPE THIS HURTS

I HOPE THIS HURTS

I HOPE THIS HURTS

I HOPE THIS HURTS

[Rambling]

NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.

IT WAS RIGHT THERE

IT WAS RIGHT THERE

IT WAS RIGHT THERE

IT WAS RIGHT THERE

NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.

WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS

WE COULD HAVE ENDED IT

WE COULD HAVE BEGUN AGAIN

WE COULD HAVE SEEN IT THROUGH

NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.

SHE COULDN'T SEE A THING

I COULDN'T DO A THING

AND NOW AND NOW AND NOW

IT'S ALL FOR NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.

2207 AC

I haven't felt like myself in a long time.

And it's awful.

And it's all getting worse.

And now on the eve of war

the axe comes down on unity.

They've already won without lifting a finger.

And ALL you have to say, I can just imagine...

'Kihihihihihi~'

I'll never understand now.

I COULD STILL UNDERSTAND.

[Rambling]

In 2206 I stood in the Ballroom of Caethir's castle.

I watched my friend walk out the doors.

I would never see her again.

That same year a troubled face from before

I became a member of the Bastion

was also taken by the same bastards.

Through 2207, all prepared for

an act of sacrilege.

And more were taken still.

And during this time those that sheltered

those bastards and claimed no fault in horrid crimes

were called to account.

All raised their banners in unity against such evils

but in the midst of all of this was an

uncounseled bid to assert control of reality.

A bid that failed to do ought

but pit brother and sister against each other.

Unity, once celebrated, torn asunder.

The act of sacrilege was shattered

but even still the victory was to the dark ones

for in the wake of it the blows fell.

It is 2208. I stand in Atheleon.

I beg for a gentle conclusion.

A hopeful return to unity.

I am mocked for such a desire.

Because here with more years of suffering

can we shake the leeches out.

War is declared.

The enemies of all triumph.

And there is no recourse.

We must endure this deprivation.

We must remember that cruel seasons end.

We must keep the candles lit.

No matter what it costs us.

I am happy

None of you lived to see me like this.

[Rambling]

2209 AC

Something
              is wrong.

The candle
               is not
                      lit.

I have
         hurt
               my
                   Raven.

I am
      no
         Knight.

I am
       sick.

Sick
     in the
             heart.

Ravaged
          by the
                  poison
                          'optimism'.

Realism
          shows it's
                       hopeless.

Impossible
              to endure.

I cannot foster progress.
I cannot hold a truth.
I cannot protect anyone.
I cannot avenge my squire.
I cannot save a soul.

And now
I am alone in this friendless Hel.
Even when I'm at her side.
There's no hope in my heart.
I keep leeching off of hers.
And I cannot stand it.

I wish I had never joined the Bastion.
I wish I had never come to Meranthe.
I wish I had died in the compound.
I wish I was never born.
I wish I wasn't here to hurt her.

[Rambling]

"I no longer trust you. So you know as much as I require you to." 

You gave me nothing at all even when you did.

Nothing has changed from that.

"What a shame you didn't know who I was before.

We could have been friends then. Or. Perhaps we were." 

We never were. You hold up an imaginary world.

You even think we knew each other since childhood.

"I'm not discrediting the Caius faith."

You already know that's not my faith. In the same conversation.

I would ask why you conveniently forget, but I know why.

"Paloma I do not want you to leave, but I want you to understand our ways."

I don't believe you for a minute.

But you know what? I attempted. And before I could even try...

"Why, Paloma. It sounds like I've just described your issues with Atheleon, doesn't it? 

So I beg the question of why you suddenly oppose it. 

Is it because it affects you? You aren't a self-serving person like them, right?" 

Not at all. No one cared so long as my goals aligned.

Yet now you revile me for not being one of you.

"I fixed her for you, by the way. In only a handful of months, too. You're welcome."

Do not assume I have forgotten your opposition.

You opposed me when I tried for years.

"And failed. So don't speak like you know how to succeed."

You are a vulture reaping the benefit after all my efforts.

And you decry me as useless.

2211 AC

I take the withered husk of my oath to Atheleon

and I let it die.

A festering, fetid limb that needed to be severed.

He manipulated me.

He claimed I could be uplifted by Aphrosi ways.

But he just wanted my silence and compliance.

And the nuns loathe me. For I am not an Athelite.

I set them on their path from a distance and they claim all effort is theirs.

They wouldn't even KNOW without me. Without us.

And I hope it goes well for them

But I won't cry if doesn't.

[Rambling]

Winter Still 

2211 AC

"When the time comes for that name to be put away?
...someone will stop you. Doesn't have to be me.
...you'll be somewhere far from even an idea of a friend when that happens."

I was correct.

I was ALWAYS correct.

Even on the part where it didn't have to be me.

And my hope was answered.

It hurt immensely.

It hurt immensely.

It hurt immensely.

It hurt immensely.

It hurt immensely.

My only regret when watching that was that to the very end... you stayed silent.

I wonder if in the end you would have acknowledged my truth.

Probably not. Oh well.

This has been an interesting chapter, enemy mine...

Full respect to Sora4591 as Ban/Silvaros's player for being a cool antag

I'd give you a commend if you weren't a corpse bruh.

See you around.

[Rambling]

Oh Hel No.

What could this be referring to?

A mystery.