[GravityChill]

I thought of them as family and sought them as such. In the encroaching night some time ago I told myself I would never turn my blade against those I considered close. To truly find the path that would have sought the goal I had put for myself long ago when I was but a boy on the farm of the de Daum. Simpler times, feeding the chickens and taking care of the crops, sitting inside of the house with my friends, goofing off, and trying to learn cooking for the first time. Much of the times that passed by were so fun, and things had been simpler then, but it wasn't meant to last.

5 years passed, and I'm now older, wiser...and much more tired. Many bonds I thought would stay strong continue to be tested and some even snap, and the bonds I have taken up seem to go stronger with each passing day. Deciding what is right becomes harder to do, as I wish to not hurt those who I have grown close to, but also wish to not sever that which had been formed before my time. I can't have it all...I know I can't do it all and it's selfish to think of such, but it doesn't make the feeling hurt less...

I feel as if some of the decisions are wrong, I question myself every day thinking if the path I choose is right. If the ones I stand with are in the right, or if I find myself on the wrong line of history. Chances of things resolving properly are now gone, the sight of the Coven grows smaller with each passing day, and sometimes I wonder if the light I hold in my heart will be one day shrouded by darkness.

But it's ok...because I can't give up, or else I will become consumed by this feeling, that nothing will ever change.

I could never face the man again if I gave in so easily...