[RadioHead]

We are born to serve, to fight off the darkness that creeps around humanity.

We are taught that through fate life remains balanced.

We learn that life is unfair and cruel.

Here I stare at this locket before me and I feel nothing but a pit within my stomach, I was born to the church, to serve, to live, to fight, to die, and.... yet... in one moment. One sigular moment I lost everything I knew in this world.

I lost the woman I love, the mother of my child, the one who has been by my side for years upon years. To fight as one. To be together as it always should have been.

It's funny, you know. The Oracle told us that I was the one fated to die young, that it would be me to cause grief that would tear away at the heart and soul of another. It was supposed to be me, not her. I am to suffer and live through this life without my other half, part of me has been split away. Part of me was missing and there was nothing I could do, there was nothing I could have done. I wasn't allowed to fight for her.

I wasn't allowed to see her.

And now.

I will never get to it again.

We had a child together, how am I going to tell them that their mother died before they were even one? How am I going to tell them that every moment I look at them, I see my fallen love? This cannot be how man was supposed to live life, for life is too painful it suffers and it hurts.

She was the only one that never doubted me. Everyone else thought me a fool to learn the ways of the Occult, that I would be the one to fall into its seductive embrace and fall into the pit that so many people have found themselves in. She was... my hero... she was the one who loved me for who I was and nothing less. She loved a little Orphan boy. She had a family. Now it's one she will never get to see.

Their first steps.

Their first words.

It will all be for me to see...

I must find something, a way, to get these horrible feelings out of my stomach.

It is so lonely to stand alone.

It is so lonely to sleep in an empty bed.

It is so lonely to know that my wife, Rosabella Corbin, will never return to me.

Yet I press on, I become more, I become stronger and I will make everyone. Everyone who ever thought they could hurt her I will burn them to cinder and ash but I can't do that right now. I am too tired. I am too hurt.

I am mourning a death that never was supposed to be for it was supposed to be me who would die young, not her.

Ad Astra Per Aspera...

Ad Astra Per Aspera...

Ad Astra Per Aspera...

[RadioHead]

I've felt so cold.

The embers of my soul are dying.

I feel Hollow.

I wonder, can you see me from the Citadel? Do you watch me? Do you see my failures and success? Our child has grown more- their eyes are like your own, full of life. Excited to press into the morning dawn no matter what. I don't know where they had such conviction, such vivacious ways to live when their Father barely knows how to function as a human being. Even now I don't know what I am doing.

The Lady Oracle made me the Captain, it was supposed to be Rosabella and her plans we spoke of- how badly she wanted to make the Bastion better. So that Aphros could thrive again under the new order. We've started the Trials, and we've started to mold the next generation... our generation into the fine warriors that the world needs so that the darkness of the fel does not swarm those who truly matter in this world. By the day their numbers grow and ours dwindle, we must press on. I must press on for her, for her memory shall never die as long as I stand and breathe, for as long as I can muster the strength to keep moving on.

She will live on.

Something is wrong with me. The embers of my soul - the very same that helped me burn as bright as the sun has become as dull as a cinder.

Am I broken?

I hardly feel the gift of emotions now- that wound up on my neck... damned Faeborne traitor. They took so much from my life, is this truly how I am to live? In this dulled state of emotions, I miss feeling the thrill of being happy, the rush of a burning rage within me, the sorrow that made me feel drowy. It's been two years since her passing and I can't feel anything. Why can't I feel anything? Why are my flames dying away? Why does no one have any answers.

Why do people follow me...

I don't know what I'm doing,

I wish you never died.

I have to press on. I have to be the beacon of light. I am no child of Pylae, I do not believe I will ever become hope as they are. As they shall become. My friends have their path set before them and it is my duty to ensure that they become everything they were ever meant to be ...and perhaps far more than they ever thought imaginable. I fight with this new generation and they best me - my pride hurts but my mind is free. They are strong- they have faith- they have one another.

Part of me has hope for the New Dawn, but why wait for the New Dawn with the Twilight sky is far prettier than that. Soothing as it is damning, horrifying as it is grand.

Though my flames fade away, though I feel little.

I will endure.

[RadioHead]

No more Martyrs.

She wouldn't have wanted me to throw my life away.

...I miss you so much.

We fight. We live. We die. The cycle of life repeats itself so often in our minds. It is a daily occurrence for some, and for others, they live a life so complete that it's almost impossible to consider death would follow so soon. Pain and suffering have come to Aphros like no other, so many of us want to fight - so many of us want to see the greater dawn but I understand the Oracle's decree... I see it. Even I've been stopped in my tracks to fight against the one named Xarxes, stopped to fight against the Undead that stole my wife from me four years ago.

...

Has it been four years already?

It feels like only yesterday I was holding you in my arms while we laughed within the square- it feels like a dream when I woke up with you side by side with me in our own bed. Four years you've been gone and I've never felt so lost. I want to charge into the ranks of Skarnfel to take them all down and maybe they would grant me the mercy of death so that I may be with you in the Citadel so far away. ...But... So many have told me that I have a purpose, so many have denied me to go into the Twilight Sky to see you once more because I am needed.

Why?

Why!?

I want revenge. I want to kill them all and... maybe if things were different I would have disagreed with them all and done just that. Charge into the Twilight Sky into the grand tomorrow so that I may see you once again. Because you fell in love with an Orphan boy. ...Why in the world would I make our child one? What kind of father would I be if I did that, if I left their life so soon as it had started? I would be no better than a deadbeat- I would be no better than an abusive parent. I don't want to give my child a life without a loving parent, I want them to know who you were and all those amazing things you were to me.

How can I do that if I join the battle right now? Going against Orders of the highest decree...

I am their Captain.

I've told them to calm their soul and soothe their emotions. There will always be a better tomorrow...

How ironic that I was so ...willing to throw my life away...

No more Martyrs.

[RadioHead]

Blind faith can be cruel...

It pushes the world away...

But I will make them see...

How ironic. The world has scorned us for doing what we had to do, people call us weak, fools, brainless... Their insults are nothing more than hollow words for those who have failed to seek the truth. For every lie, there is some truth... and for every truth... there is a lie. People scorn what they do not understand, more so when they have been fed lies by those who no longer belong in this world. It pains me when the world is hurting and the good has been shattered into the winds, shouldn't humanity bind itself together now? Or shall it be cursed to falter and fight one another until the end of time while the Fel grows ever stronger?

Fear is what causes foolish choices...

Fear is the mind-killer. Not that I blame anyone it simply is. Fear is the most powerful tool, an emotion that has such strength it can bring entire nations to their knees... Hope is what heals the soul, steels the mind, and protects the heart. We Aphrosians are stubborn folk even in dire times people just thought we were hiding away not to see the bigger picture so that we could become something greater than we are now. ...

I even went against orders, I hold my trust in few. I don't blame others for not liking what was done honestly I question so much of what was and would be even now but I am forever faithful. I have to be, for She was my light. All I do is for her, but I do it for her in his name- I wonder what the Warden has planned for me because this life has been nothing but trials and pain - for it has hurt me in ways that I cannot express in words.

People trust in me.

So I shall be their beacon of hope, and light in this new age...

Ages pass. Souls move on. Death and life, it is all a process. Like a circle those worthy are reborn... but...

Time... is unforgiving.

They say time heals all wounds but I question if time is enough. Six years I have lost my beloved, I have the wounds for eight years upon my very soul. It doesn't feel any lighter. I wonder, am I broken? And if I am broken can I ever be fixed? I am so much more than just Lyco Corbin, the Umbral Captain... so why do I feel as if I've become a shell of who I once was? I don't think I'll ever be the Young Lyco that was six years ago. Frankly I find it impossible, it's a lovely dream but I have become something new. To say for better or for worse? It's not up to me but those who have stood by my side for all this time.

I didn't think I would live this long.

I didn't think I would find purpose in my people.

I didn't think I would stand before the world as the Captain of Knights.

Yet here I am.

And shall remain.

[RadioHead]

Music

I feel free.

This pain will heal in time...

Thank you, my love.

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you knew you were in the place where you belonged? Where you know that everything that had hurt you, everything that had caused you to fall down only to force you to get back up was meant for something? I am no perfect man, I am no perfect knight, I am no perfect father, I am a man who has gone through life the best he could in the way that he knew how. I have enemies, I have friends, I have those who love me and those who will damn me... There's nothing I would change in this world for it. Why? Because I got to see her.

Just one last time.

That's all it took.

I'm sorry I was not the one to kill who took her, I'm sorry I never got the chance to become the martyr I dreamed of being. Everything was worth it because I finally got to say goodbye to her. I finally got to say goodbye to the one who captured my heart without a question and you know what she had told me? She told me...

"Let...

Me...

Go..."

I wept. I wept more tears in that very moment than I have ever imagined possible. Not out of sorrow, but out of acceptance that I have been clinging to my past for too long and I have not been able to look forward until I let her go. I trapped myself in my mind because I was trying to prove myself that I was good enough, that I, Lyco, was a worthy husband of Rosabella. She told me to be happy, she told me that I needed to let go of her so that I could start to live again.

I asked myself if I was strong enough to let go. I asked myself was it worth letting go of the things that hurt me so that I could become better? If not for myself... then for her, because I know now that she will be with me until the end of my days.

I've ignored myself enough. I stopped loving who I was in the mindset that I couldn't be loved again. I stopped being the man I was because I thought I had lost my way in life but all it took for me to see the light once more was to say goodbye. There's no moment in my life that I'm ever going to be ready to say goodbye no one in love could, no one who has felt the love of another person could ever truly say goodbye, yet it is something we must do.

For if we hold onto the pain that binds us to the past, how are we ever supposed to live in the future? How are we ever supposed to love again? How are we suppose to grow if we do not accept that we have been flawed, and hurt, we're living creations we simply cannot and will never be perfect. I strive for the impossible and I know now that I don't need to be someone perfect. I just need to be.... Me.

And so...

Goodbye, Rosabella Corbin.

I love you.

It's time for me to move on. I wouldn't change anything for the world, the time I had with you was the best time of my life, I wish you could see me now. How amazing everything has become, our child, our home, our people. I couldn't have done this without you, I have to let go now.

I have to let you go now...

Thank you, for everything...

I feel the fire in my soul reignited again...

Thank you, Rosabella...

[RadioHead]

Music

Dear Rosabella...

We did it.

We really did it.

To the woman I held in my arms and told her that we would take on the world together... we just didn't know it wouldn't be at the same time. I see that now, you were never meant to walk this world with me. It was your love, your strength in me that pushed me to keep going. You gave me the most wonderful gift of all, two little girls who walk the world with me in your loving memory.

You gave me my Heart and Soul.

Elise, my darling little girl. Must you be so hard on yourself? Do you not know that you've always had my heart and love since the moment you were born? The days that we would play, and the hours I would read to you? Why will you not love yourself? Have I not given it enough time? - So many questions to ask myself and I will never know if I am doing this father thing right... but you my darling little girl. You have nothing to prove to me, you never have. I want you to live this wonderful life you have before you in the way that you want... I know every second your mother is watching you.

Victoria, my brave little soldier. Must you try so hard? Do you not know that you've always had my love and soul?  Why must you push yourself so far and so hard just so that you will think I am proud of you? There's not a moment, not a second that goes by that I am not proud of who you are and what you will become. Did I not say it enough when you were growing up? Your mother fights with you in all that you do, your mind is steeled, your soul is ready... But that doesn't mean your father is. Your mother would tell me I am too protective. Perhaps... I am.

To House Corbin, I have given it my all to make our name shine in the halls of the Citadel. So that Athelios may see us true- our history of Knights, our roles as the Commanding forces of Aphros shall live on through the generations. I just wish we weren't so alone, I wish that we had more to give to those around us but I know true and hard that my Heart and Soul will be all that I am and more. I couldn't ask for more. I couldn't ask to be more than what I am today before you, you all took an Orphan child into your loving family. Allowing me to flourish into the man I am today. There are not enough words to express my gratitude towards you all.

Finally, To Lyco, Look at us. Look how far we've come despite our lives being so filled with sorrow and pain. We're still here. We're still here walking the lands because it is our duty and we have two amazing little girls to follow in our footsteps, perhaps we cast a shadow but they will outshine us, they have the world at their fingertips and now it's our turn to guide them. ...But I have to ask you, when will you stop mourning? When will you take a moment and sit down, let the bottled-up emotions you've kept so tightly wound within you - to be free... We've cried so much, we've ached for so long, when will you see that the world you have now is so full of love? We did it, Lyco Sarrius. You made life worth living again, You became Lyco Corbin.

When will you love yourself?

Look within...

For you will see...

Your Heart and Soul...

[RadioHead]

To hear the call.

To feel its embrace.

It is all I could ever ask for.

It's funny to think how far my life has come. From a young boy who was nothing more than an Orphan, he did his best to get some food on the table. To command an army in the years since I was a young man... But I have heard the call of my faith, the screaming victory that calls me to the spirit realms and beyond. Ever since Lira Moore I have known what I must do, to guide my people down a path that would bring us into the shining light of the Pantheon. I've witnessed Enarr and Gala, the death of Jokul, and the insanity that has taken over Mel. The corrupted truth is the Delphina people. I can speak this way because we are not without flaws.

Who am I to say this? I speak to the spirits, I have a lich from a time before even I who has guided my hand. Who has kept my course for my people- for if they were not around, those who deem themselves 'Servant' - I would have lost myself in the sea of sorrow. I would have taken up the black arts that we strive to fight against. Because the world has been cruel to us all and even now. We go against everyone, and everything, for it is our duty to maintain order. To maintain the balance of the world. These scales are never meant to go too far in either direction or the world itself would become undone. I wonder how different it would be now if I touched the corrupted arts, to give in, truly give in... I wonder who I would be.

Eivor, Hina, Arnet. Old friends. Ones I used to lean upon in my times of need have lost themselves to the corrupted Zealot ways. All of Aegis has, there are few within their ranks that I hold high but many are lost because people seemingly forget. The path in life is never straightforward, there is no right way to live there is no wrong way to live. You simply must. The world has gone against my people and for once in my life? I accept it. To not fault of my own. I have strived ever to be the hero among mankind and I stand before them now- to tell them there is no such thing as heroes. I wonder if they know that I still care for them. Do they see it? Or are they blind?

Heroes died ages ago. This is the age of strife. The age of the men and women pushed them to defend what they sought as their divine calling. I have fought those of the divine, the demigods that challenged humanity in the face of loss. Yet people forgot it was us who defended them that day, they seek only to see the vile touch to warp their story. To hunt those who take the path less traveled... disgust is all I feel.

Even I killed the last woman who ever loved me in cold blood for she had lost her way, I could not fix her, I could not defend her, I could not save her from what she had become. Without a second thought, I took her life and I don't regret it. I did what had to be done - I have more to live for. I have more to give back to this world than to fall on the blade of someone who loved me.

I know what my path is now. I have heard the call of Athelios, and I have felt the hand of Caius.

I am a Warden.  I am the Defender of Humanity, and I seek the spirits lost so that they may be found once more. I have found my way - I feel lost no more.

I will bring her back.

I will have my beloved at my side once more.

This is the Wardens Decree.

[RadioHead]

Is this what life is now?

To live with the loss of those you have loved?

Have I failed them?

Generations have been born since my time. To see the golden plains of Aphros, to fight in the war that caused the loss of our home. To see the rising generations of my own children has been an odd feeling... Though I may not be considered human anymore, humanity's grace is what pushed many of us forward. I must accept the truth that the generation I was born to is coming to an end, we must push on for the next generations, we must push on for their children, and their children's children we must always be moving forward. We tell them that the only way in life to make a difference is by pushing on.

Yet we have forgotten at times what it means to live. To be alive is more than fighting in wars, more than talking to people, it is to truly understand who you are as a person. These are lessons that are not taught to anyone but something that Life itself must teach you. I wonder, how easy it would be to return to the spirit realm, to live a life with all those friends I have lost through the generations.

Those of us who took the trek to Lira Moore... I am the last that remains. We fought so hard to give a better life for our children, and perhaps for a time, we were able to do this. The loss of my best friend has been a pain I have not felt in a long time, they tell me he died willingly for another life. I expected nothing less than that from him, but he's left his daughter behind, he's left my heart with a weeping wound.

For I am the last of the Lira Moore.

Many people have asked me what it is like to die. I tell them painful. None have ever asked me what it means to live. Though truthfully I don't know if I can give them a proper answer, who I was as a man is not who I am now. Less than I am... it is hard to describe but one who has lived for so long must question what it means to be here when others have passed on. I question, why haven't I? It is a choice I have but I think deep down I know the answer.

Those who have died by my side, those who I have fought with, and those who I have loved. May never die if I live on, their memories will never fade should I remain.

The Forge is nearly done. ...And then?

Meranthe will change forever, and I will be there to witness such amazing things that will come. I will record history so that no one may truly die in the face of death, death is not our enemy but a gentle friend who I have made amends with. I accept my fate.

I accept who I am and what I shall become.

I will never forget those who lived by my side.

It would make me less than I am.