i’ve got a lot of fear for the day that i'll be dead
#1
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They say your mirror image is the worse version of you.

I look upon the mirror, expecting the side of good; I never know how to hold back.
I know the
knives that rest laid against my side quite well at this point. 

They say the mirror shows the worse of you - then why does she look so tired?

Why do her hands shake from holding back what they called sin, what I called alive?
They dressed their chains in gold to hold me, calling it becoming.
Carving away at everything that they could make bleed.

I laid here,
overthinking this agitating thought of stability,
...and the last time I lost it.


the world is not like the telltale story it sells.
it sharpens good like blades.
what it can't tame, it tries to bury..
what it can't dim, it puts in cages.

I'll shatter this mirror image, not to break her - but to let her breath.
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#2
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Who am I?
What am I..
...am I
miserable?







Day on end, again;
I look to the mirror,
and place my hand against it.

I can't see myself through it anymore,
I look so different.












It'll be fine,
I keep telling myself.

...even if I know they’re lies
they can see
through them too.


I'll survive.. 
I'll become something new.
...I'll become the very thing, I lost--
won't i?
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#3
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will they remember me?
or will I forever be alone,
perhaps I am too far gone..
to be cared for after all.

will you believe if I say,
I will try again and again?

I just want my name remembered
for standing against the voices-
the ones that kept telling me,
I would fail.
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