[Left Brain]

Even after the fall, I feel as if though I've only learned how to crawl.
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For all the years leading up until then, I had thought I'd been deserving of the ambition given to me.
To claw away at what was undesired, and make room for that which I could love. To acquire, accept, and still hunger...
You would love me, you would accept me, you would be proud of me, of the fall we make to bring them all down to our level.

I was wrong, I was afraid, I was weak, I was a failure. 
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And even still, you've loved the frightened creature that knows only its name, and what it believe it deserved.
To be encumbered by the thought of nurturing something as I into these coming years must have been Hel, and yet your arms were warm.
I remember it, I cling to it, and  even I am learning to accept that creature, that has tossed every bit of your work into those golden flames, to be born anew.
Please, if there's only one thing I hope you forgive, it is how pathetic I can't help but feel at times when clinging to the pride you've instilled in me then, and now.
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This change, it hurts, burns, and demands relief even should I slip once more... But there is change.
I have their hope, I have their love, and for once, I've looked in the reflection of  tearful eyes and have seen something that I've wanted to be.
Even if it kills me, I hope to become something stronger than I've been before.
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Just please... Wait a while longer, the foundations were never strong but this heart will have its home once more, and to those left without?

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I am sorry...